I’m fortunate. Not everyone can be. We all have our demons and our addictions (as benign as they may seem) and if we make it through our time on this plane without letting them destroy us, we have to consider ourselves lucky. I wish there was a clear cure-all-excerise, therapy, sobriety, chocolate, laughter, hugs-but there isn’t. The most we can do is just try and fight and hope that at least if in the end we don’t ‘make it’, we did what we could to reverse our fortune. If we falter, we must forgive ourselves and keep trying as long as we have breath in our lungs and beats in our heart.

The constant throughout my (near) year long trial has been music, as always. My refuge and conduit by which I can express my emotions, make sense of what I’m feeling, and understand that others too have experienced the same sadness, heartbreak, and tragedy. Putting words and sound to one’s pain is no simple act; it can take away pieces of you that you can never replace, it can bring on emotions you feel you can’t bear, it can lead to destructive behavior.

I can’t begin to say I know what Amy Winehouse’s life was like, but I do know that life isn’t easy or fair for any of us. Sometimes things are just too much to bear and trying to separate yourself from those pains and problems, even just for a short period of time, can take their toll in ways you never expect, even when you know all the consequences.

All I know is that this woman was a powerhouse of talent whose words and sound brought me heights of happiness at her cheeky verses and great beats, and came down to my depths to commisserate when I was feeling my most heartbroken. For me, The past several months have been mostly Sade, MeShell N’degeocello, Bill Withers, Marvin Gaye, and Amy Winehouse  playing while I just went through the motions of mourning and loss, strengthening and redemption.

I’m saddened that Amy Winehouse wasn’t as fortunate: to get past past the pain and the demons and addictions that seem to pass through other’s lives so innocuously. She truly was a unique voice and contributed a lot to pop and modern soul music in a short period of time. To hear Frank for the first time was a joy and it only amazed me that she was only 20 years old at the time. She talked grown woman shit that pop stars years her senior and with longer career-spans couldn’t (and still can’t!) express.

When word of her new album and US release/tour came out, I remember dropping everything to rush to the phone and score a table reservation for Joe’s Pub, one of her performance stops. I was still playing Frank like it had just dropped and “In My Bed” often had a spot in my DJ sets. I was really excited to see her live and hear her new stuff. I think everyone was surprised by her ‘look’-a definite shift from the slim, long haired woman from the “Fuck Me Pumps” video. The bouffant up to the heavens, the jailhouse tats (which I loved!), and the winged eyeliner definitely turned a few heads but when she started singing, it was truly a sight to behold. Afterward, I recall many people saying they felt she was ‘out of it’ and ‘on something’ during the performance. I just remember her having a drink nearby her and what I thought was just a case of nerves. She had little side chats with Mark Ronson (who produced Back to Black) between songs as he sat near her in the crowd and she begged off the cheers and compliments folks were giving her. Soon, word of her seemingly irrational behavior would become more commonplace even though she’d achieve great triumph in her many award nominations and wins.

The last few years seemed to be full of a lot of unfavorable news stories of her issues with drugs and alcohol and some people were just hoping she’d be able to kick and restore her mental and physical health and reclaim her spot as a top performing artist while others enjoyed the shenanigans of her downward spiral. The ride is over now and we have one less talent in our midst, hopefully now free from all things that tortured her during her short time with us on earth. I’m sure her third album, which had been submitted and reportedly rejected by her label, will be released posthumously, stories and rumors and details about her final hour will be written about while everyone who loved her and loved her music are left with questions that will forever remain unanswered. All we can do is remember and appreciate what is left, which is more than most of us leave behind when we pass on: a contribution to music that transformed a lot of minds, and helped a lot of people understand and channel their emotions and helped them feel everything but alone.

Thank you Amy. May you be at peace.

died on March 9th.

Definitely one of my top 5 favorite MCs ever.

I still have a tape of whatever mix show I first heard ‘Party and Bullsh!t’ on at my parents’ house.  I thought I was a bit of a badass around that time so hearing “I was a terror since the public school era” got me hooked.

Then it was that version of “Me and My B!tch”   that didn’t make the actual commercial release because of sample issues (they sampled Minnie Riperton’s “Take A Little Trip”) that I had on tape somewhere as well.  I couldn’t roll with beating chicks for talking slick but it was a banger (admittedly I dont’ like the version that made the album). Those were the first two songs that introduced me to Biggie Smalls a.k.a Notorious B.I.G.,  arguably the most celebrated of all Brooklyn MCs.

I can’t say anything that hasn’t already been said. Funny, insightful, amazing word play and story telling coupled with great production from such greats as Easy Mo Bee, DJ Premier, Lord Finesse, and Clark Kent makes for an impressive catalog depsite his short time on earth. He left us with some bangers that continue to get booties shaking in the club, heads nodding in the whip, and reminding up and coming MCs what they should be striving for.

13 years and your influence and memory still lives on. Rest In Power, B.I.G.

For those of us who actually live in Bed Stuy and are HUGE Biggie fans but won’t be allowed into Diddy’s party at The Lab tonight, I’ll leave you with my favorite track.

Biggie Smalls-Party and Bullshit

Its time!

My third job involves throwing on and supporting dope events in NYC. This by far is our biggest event each year and is the one we hold dearest to our hearts: Donuts are Forever-our annual tribute to James Dewitt Yancey aka Jay Dee aka J.Dilla aka Dilla aka my most favorite producer/MC. This is the reason why my blog remains without updates for yet another week and rightly so-there’s a lot of work to be done and this year is going to be EPIC.

We finally were able to get Drummer/DJ/Producer/Bandleader/Music Director extraordinaire Questlove to DJ. If you’ve been following him on twitter (@questlove) you already know he’s literally in the studio prepping for this event. We also have some other suprises up our sleeves so if you can make it out, please do so. GET THERE EARLY.

I love our event because its also a great mix of folks who knew Dilla personally, as well as DJs and MCs who were personally influenced by his body of work, which was prolific during his short  time here on earth. This year I’m honored to be a part of the DJ lineup. I’ll try my best to honor the man who gave me so much enjoyable music.

Last week I really thought I’d be posting like gangbusters with new music and other lovely goodies I’ve been hoarding but as the saying goes: Life is what happens when you’re out making other plans.

On January 12th, one of the most devastating natural disasters happened to one of the most vulnerable nations on this planet. A nation I am proud to trace my roots to. Naturally, like many other immigrants and first generation Haitian-Americans, the past 2 weeks have been filled with sadness, helplessness, anxiety, motivation, and resolve to help our countrymen. I am extremely fortunate and blessed to not have had any close family members perish, which I attribute to them actually returning to Haiti from NY the day of the quake-it kept them outside of their homes. However, I cannot say the same for the countless friends and acquaintances of Haitian descent I have come to have in my life; almost all have been deeply impacted by a death of a close loved one. I extend my deepest condolences.

I have to say I am extremely grateful and surprised by the outpouring of sympathy and desire to assist Haiti though this time-from donation drives to people lending their talents and resources to raise money to the national telethon (!) that aired this past Friday.  I continue to hope that this outpouring continues for years to come as it will be a very hard and long road to rebuild. I did some work on the Gulf Coast last year relating to Hurricane Katrina and the area was still very much on the road to recovery 3 years later-and we live in a country that has the infrastructure and programs to actually implement what is needed to rebuild! Haiti will need support and resources for many years to come.

I’m sure many of you didn’t know much about Haiti prior to this tragedy but our history cannot be denied. From fighting alongside  Americans during the Revolutionary War to our contributions in art, music, science, and civil rights, we have shown again and again how significant we are in the history of the world.

Naturally, I can’t leave you without some music! Kompas is one of the more popular genres of music in Haiti and is pretty much the music of the nation. Zouk is also pretty popular but its origins are in other francophone West Indian countries. Racine is another popular kind that is a little more “raw” and has some Vodou traditions tied to it. For the record: Vodou is not evil. Not everyone in Haiti practices Vodou (the nation is largely Christian-mostly Catholic!), though it does have a signficant place in the cultural fabric of the nation. Please don’t spread ignorance about the religion or the people.

So here are songs that are sentimental to me from these genres. Please forgive the song title translations-they probably aren’t exact as my Kreyol isn’t perfect.

DOWNLOAD|Tabou Combo-Lucy
DOWNLOAD|Sweet Micky-Pa Manyen Femn Lan (Don’t Touch that Woman)

I can’t lie: I dislike new kompas. Its so synthesizer heavy! I can’t stand it! I love the horns of older kompas. Tabou Combo and Skah Shah are two of the older, greater kompas bands.  My brother and I used to make fun of our parents by singing this song when they’d insult any hip hop we may happen to have been playing at the time due to the heavy hip hop influence on this song. The irony is today it is one of my favorite kompas songs. I’ve been itching to play this at a Haitian party but I don’t think this holds as much sentiment to younger folks like it does for me. The second song is more contemporary kompas but still a classic. Sweet Micky is straight up crazy and controversial and I love it! This isn’t my most favorite of his (“I Don’t Care” is) but this one is a popular one on the dance floor.

DOWNLOAD| Kassav-Zouk La Se Sel Medikaman (Zouk is the Only Medicine)

Kassav is actually from Martinique but this song is a classic in any francophone West Indian country. As soon as that first guitar chord drops, it is ON.

DOWNLOAD| Boukman Eksperyans-K’em Pa Sote (My Heart Will Not Leap)

This song premiered in carnival in Haiti in the early 1990s and took off. It quickly took on a political slant due to a lot of the turmoil the country at the time. Definitely rebel music. My fondest memory of this song is being at a wedding and seeing my grandmother drop it low when this song came on. It stirs the spirit.

I feel like I’m always posting about deaths! I’m not a “death comes in threes” or a ” omg! too many deaths!” person because people die every day-fame exaggerates and people tend to get up in arms over celebrity deaths but every life is precious. But this year is a tough one! This morning, Mr. Magic died of an apparent heart attack.

If it were not for Mr. Magic, hip hop would not have become what it is. From Stetsasonic to Whodini to the infamous Boogie Down Productions/Juice Crew rivalry (back when rap “beefs” produced great music-remember that?) to Public Enemy (NO MORE MUSIC BY THE SUCKERS!-that was Mr. Magic) to the MC I quoted to start off this post.

An MC, a DJ, a groundbreaker, a revolutionary, and one of the cornerstones of the foundation of hip hop. Rest In Peace

Sadly another amazing talent and one of the greatest DJs ever has passed away this past weekend after suffering some serious injuries some weeks ago. When I first started learning how to DJ and trying to learn some tricks, I’d watch footage of Roc Raida on the internet every once in a while and I learned two things:

1. I could NEVER be a Turntablist
2. Roc Raida handles turntables like second nature.

That’s TWENTY SIX years of turntable skills. He had been DJing almost as long as I’ve been alive and still doing it better than most that came before and after him. He was a contributor, a teacher, an artist, a father and husband and is a legend.

R.I.P. Grand Master Roc Raida.

One day she and I were talking about a less-than-favorable critique she just had. She did a painting that was of a very personal nature to her and was intending on making it her thesis project moving forward and the faculty that was critiquing her was very discouraging. Basically their point was: “Ok, we see this is personal to you but why should we care?” Of course a statement like that stings, but damn it if it wasn’t spot-on. I don’t know why that stuck with me for all this time since I’m so not an artist, but it did. At the time I felt for my friend and I did see the truth in it though it was harsh, but only recently did it really get driven home and reinforced by a very tragic event.

I definitely did not know DJ AM. I definitely was not his peer in the DJ realm by any stretch. I definitely was one of his many admirers. Granted I can’t wax poetic about DJ AM like some of his close friends or like ?uestlove did because I suck at writing, but the recurring theme of the numerous blogs and tweets about this man was his ability to present music a way that respected the genre and got people open to new and different things. As ?uestlove says in his tribute, with DJing you have to use your knowledge of music to SHARE music. That’s my goal as a DJ. That’s my job as a DJ. However, the one thing I think I haven’t quite figured out is: Why should they care?

I think the greats have figured out the why and the how in a way that is just universally felt. I may never get there. It is an individual journey and no two are the same, but DJ AM was one of those who figured it out and never strayed from it, even when he was getting stupid paid. That’s not only a testament to his character, but to his dedication to the craft and love for music. Rest In Power, DJ AM.

I don’t do well with death on any level. I’ve had to attend quite a few funerals in my youth and while I haven’t had to deal with a personal friend or family death in some time, I must say that I’ve had many a musical influence pass on that has affected me deeply, as these people not only inspired me to become a DJ, they comforted me through rough times in life with their words, amazed me with their talent, and truly reinforced to me that there must be some sort of higher being out there that blessed them with the immense talents they possess.

For those who know me personally, they know a few of these influences: Dilla, Luther Vandross, James Brown, Isaac Hayes (among others!)…and of course, Michael Jackson.

The one thing I remember the most about MJ was that he was my first crush. However, being the G that I am, I would never admit to it. I was always teased by one of my uncles about it-even when the crush was long gone. Y’all couldn’t tell me MJ wasn’t going to marry me! He had me at Billie Jean. However I was a pretty stupid kid and didn’t really understand the words but I wished I was Billie Jean.

I’m sure this is the 300 millionth blog entry about MJ and I would be remiss to not make one. While I’m deeply in sorrow over his death and wish like hell it wasn’t so, his life was not easy and I know he is at peace. I also cannot be too sad as he left us with decades of music to fill our lives and the lives of future generations. The amount of gratitude felt by the millions of fans in the world for his gifts of music, dance, and style is eclipsed by what he gave us. I only wish and hope he felt that despite all the hardship he had to endure, that he knew there were people in the world who loved him.

I hope to see you again one day, Michael.

On an end note, I want to say a million thanks to Mary Pryor from We Fancy and Ladies Love NYC, who organized a Ladies Love Michael Jackson event held last Monday, June 29th. It was a very last-minute effort and I am beyond honored and blessed to have been included in this event honoring one of my heroes. I also want to thank DJs Beverly Bond, Miss Saigon, DJ Kiss, Shorty Wop, Brina Payne, and Reborn for keeping the magic alive that night.